Velociraptors and You

As I'm sure you're all aware, September is Velociraptor Awareness Month. For obvious reasons, it's important to be on the alert when it comes to these dangerous creatures we share our world with. Thankfully, the American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention has a very handy website you can use to ensure you are safe and protected.

My IT department is similarly aware of the threat posed by the velociraptors among us and has taken precautions.

As you can see, our IT department has obviously had a problem with velociraptor attacks recently. I feel good about it having been nearly a week since the last incident. Things seem to be looking up.

The comics may or may not have been added by my carpool buddy, Heather. Here are closeups so you can enjoy them as much as everyone who walks by on their way to the break room. As you can see from the picture I took, someone apparently thought they were of great worth and added pushpins to ensure their survival on the velociraptor shrine.

May you never let a velociraptor take you by surprise.

The end.

The sitch, if you will

[heehee, when I first wrote the title it said "stitch," which did not reflect the Kim Possible reference I was trying to make. Silly me.]

So, it's possible we have news. Big news. Huge news.

All right, it's not just possible--it's a fact. That's right, throw on the emphasis, it's a big FACT.

Now you're squirming with curiosity. Or maybe you're just hoping I'll stop being so lame and get to the point.

The point, my friends, is . . .

Sam and I just got approved for adoption!! [Notice the double exclamation points. This practically never happens, so you can put it down as proof of my extreme excitement.]

We're adopting through LDS Family Services, we just got approved on Wednesday/Thursday, and our profile is up and running. So go check it out!

It's late, so I'm not going to post more tonight. If you're lucky, you'll get more on Monday. If you're very, very lucky, that is.

XOXO

Tragedy

Disclaimer: You may have noticed that I have a slight weakness when it comes to posting things of an editorial nature [i.e., I can't stop myself]. This is one of those times.

Now, I know this news is going to come as a shock to you, but I can't think of a way to cushion the metaphorical blow, so here you go: The English language is dead. You can read its obituary here.

To think that I dedicated my college career to the study of the English language for it to meet such an untimely end. Talk about a waste of time and resources.

Let's grieve, friends. [And by grieve, I mean let's have a nice little chuckle at Gene Weingarten's snarky joke.] You are now reading a tombstoned, obituaried language. Moment of silence, please.

RIP, English.

That's Right, We're Even More Made of Awesome Now

So, has the thought ever crossed your mind, "Gee, what if I pass out and stop breathing and have no pulse one day? I sure wish I knew someone who's a pro at CPR who could save my life (while instructing someone to call an ambulance who will be the ones to actually save your life)"?

Well guys, worry about that no longer. That's right, Sam and I are officially CPR certified (for a year) as of this morning. So if you ever find yourself in the uncomfortable position of being unconscious, not breathing, and without a heartbeat, give us a call and we'll come to the rescue.

[That was a joke, in case you missed it. Feel free to laugh now if you missed your first cue.]

YA Fantasy Showdow

So I saw a link to this on one of the book review sites I read, and I thought it was hilarious. The YA Fantasy Showdown.

Basically what it is is a list of characters from young adult fiction. They are paired against each other in a fight. The website people write a scenario of how they think the fight would go down. Then you can vote on who you think would win. Then the winners from the first round are paired against each other, and so on.

It's the last round, and Wizard Howl (a.k.a., Howell Jenkins, Wizard Jenkins, Wizard Pendragon, one of my favorite characters ever) from Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones is against Eugenides from the Queen's Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner. The scenario is pretty funny. I've never read the Queen's Thief series but I have read the Howl books, so it probably could have been funnier, but it was still good.

Hands down, my favorite was the Hermione Granger (from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling) vs. Christopher Chant (from the Chrestomanci series by Diana Wynne Jones) fight. The scenario is hilarious (possibly because I'm a huge fan of the Chrestomanci books).

And looking through the list made me feel really good about myself, because I'm buddies with a lot of the characters on the list from reading their books. It makes me feel like I can honestly say I'm a YA fantasy/fiction author, because I'm familiar with the field. Huzzah.

New

So, I just redid our blog design, and since it took me a while, I'd appreciate it if you all took a second to examine my handiwork and told me how nice it looks. It would make me feel very gratified, even if you're lying.

But why, you might wonder, did I bother spending so much time making our blog look beautiful, since we only update once a month, if that? Well, my friends, you'll find out soon enough. And we'll be updating more than once a month. For the same undisclosed reason. And maybe I'll even get in the habit of updating relatively frequently and you'll actually know what the heck we're up to. Miracles can happen, right?

XOXO,

Holly (or, as I've taken to calling myself whenever I want a giggle, H-Kizzle)

My Super Fun Adventure

One of the funnest things about our Honda CR-V is that the gas gauge lies [and p.s., isn't gauge the weirdest word ever? It totally isn't spelled the way it's pronounced]. Basically, when the little needle thing points to a quarter tank, that means it's empty. Once upon a time the fuel light would turn on when things got dangerous, but about a year ago it rebelled, meaning we now have to play the safe-so-we're-not-sorry game with our car and gas stations.

[I know--talk about heavy foreshadowing for disaster right there.]

Many times in the past [and by many I mean maybe twice], Sam has felt the need to push the needle to the limit, so to speak, and has ended up parked on the side of the road and walking to the nearest gas station. For quite some time, we had a handy little gas container thing in the trunk for just such occasions.

Well, last night was my turn.

I'm part of a writers group that meets every Thursday [except when we don't, like when no one's submitted anything], and when I was just about there last night I noticed that the gas gauge was at the precarious "1/4 tank" position. [This is more foreshadowing right here, in case you missed it.]

I thought, "No problem. I'll get gas on my way home."

So I went to my group and had a wonderful time, all the while being blissfully unaware of the tragedy about to befall me. We were only meeting in Orem, so I thought, "I should have enough gas to get to the station by my house. No problem. I don't need to go to the gas station so conveniently located right around the corner from my friend's house, where we're meeting. I'll be fine."

In case you haven't guessed it, I was not, in fact, fine.

I was driving on 2200 N, just before it became 900 E, when the CR-V lurched the first time. And I thought, "Oh no. I still have 7 or 8 minutes of driving time. No way I'm making it home." But then I thought, "There's sort of a gas station around here. I can probably make it there."

Not so much.

I made it to the MTC, then decided the car would go no further. And if it did, I'd be on a road with no emergency shoulder thing to pull on to when it decided it would go no further, and I didn't think anyone would appreciate my car being stopped in the middle of traffic. And I did not want to get out and push.

And let me tell you, the MTC parking lot? Totally the most awkward place in the world to be stranded without gas. I felt like everyone who looked at me as I was sitting in my car, trying to call Sam, thought I was there to try and corrupt the innocent missionaries who were just trying to train to do the Lord's work. But still, that was better than being stopped in the middle of a road.

So once I made it safely to a 30-minute parking spot, I tried calling Sam. Why didn't I just get out and walk? 1) The gas container was no longer in the trunk, so I would have had to get a new one. 2) I wasn't entirely sure of where the nearest gas station was. 3) Even if I'd had the gas can and known where the nearest station was, I didn't have any idea of what to do when I got there. 4) The flip-flops I was wearing would have given me a very uncomfortable feeling on the way there and definite, probably huge, blisters on the way back.

So, really, calling Sam seemed to be my best option. Only he didn't pick up the phone. By the time I ended the fourth call--all the while thinking of the supposed usefulness of cell phones--I determined that he was sitting outside, which he's been known to do when the weather is nice, and had left his phone inside. In desperation I called our landlady, who lives above us, but she wasn't home. And then, in utter desperation, I called our next-door neighbor.

Thankfully, she was home. And by "she" I mean one of my former Beehives (though, technically, she was never my Beehive, as she turned 14 before I was called, but I still consider her one of my girls) who happens to be my next-door neighbor. This is approximately how our conversation went:

Me: Hi. It's Holly.
Her: *surprised* Hi.
Me: So . . . can you go outside and look to see if Sam's there? I've been trying to call him, but I don't think he has his phone with him.
Her: *slight pause as she processes my statement and totally random request* Oh. Sure. Hold on. Yeah, here's there.
Me: *sighing in relief* Good. Can you ask him to call me?
Her: Sure.
Me: Thanks. You just saved my life.

The rest of the story isn't that interesting. Sam called me back and then got to be my hero and come to my rescue with a full gas can, and I made it home finally--after stopping at the closest gas station [which, p.s., was not where I thought it was at all] and filling up. And that, folks, was the end of my super fun and exciting adventure.

Though, to compensate for my traumatic experience [Does anyone else ever have problems with that word? Traumatic? I never spell it right the first time--that and tragedy. They ruin my life.], I watched the first two episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer from Netflix on my TV via my Wii [which is a whole other kind of exciting that I won't go into here--watching things on my TV from Netflix via my Wii, I mean]. So I guess that was the real end of my adventure.

So now you know--Sam's not the only one in the family who's gotten stranded somewhere with an empty gas tank. I'll just hang my head in shame right now. I deserve to be shunned.