So I've always been of the opinion that Valentine's Day is a contrived holiday cooked up by Hallmark and chocolate companies to boost after-Christmas sales. I mean, come on, it's named after some saint that apparently no one knows anything about other than his birth- and death-day. [I'd always been of that opinion, and Wikipedia has just confirmed it. How's that for research? This is why I write fantasy; very little research involved.]
I'd always assumed America was the epicenter of the Valentine's festivities, with small shout-outs from Europe and perhaps Central and South America. Oh boy was I wrong. I think China is the actual Valentine's Day epicenter. It is a big deal here, let me tell you, only it's a bit different, because it's strictly a holiday for lovers. I remember I'd always get a little something from my parents for Valentine's Day growing up, but that's not how the Chinese roll. Valentine's Day is to celebrate romantic love, nothing more.
There are guys selling flowers in the street, bouquets so big it's a struggle for one man to carry them. That's not even an exaggeration. Sam got me a handful of roses--one is midnight blue and glittery, by the way, which is pretty awesome--and the guy selling them asked, "Are these for your girlfriend?" Sam said no, for his wife. The seller looked at him like he was crazy and demanded, "And you only got her five?" Probably thinks we're having marital difficulties or that ours is a marriage of convenience rather than love. Then again, Sam is pretty sure he got charged the meiguo ren price, so what he paid might have been equivalent to the bushels. Who can tell.
Oh, and sugar cane. Long sticks of sugar cane between three and five feet tall. I'm not sure what happens to the sugar cane after it's purchased, but apparently that says love just as much as flowers and chocolate. And the traffic was insane--much, much worse than it usually is. Because, naturally, everyone was out celebrating Valentine's Day. The holiday I'd always assumed was pretend and scorned outside of the U.S.
Anyway, Sam and I usually don't do anything for Valentine's Day, due to me preferring to celebrate our love on non-traditional days [Anyone can remember to make an anniversary special; how about a random, unimportant day when you're not expecting it? But that's a whole different blog post.] But this year we decided to go out to dinner [which might have something to do with how I haven't managed to gain any weight and the medical officer here is a little concerned], to a new Italian restaurant we've heard good things about. I know, we're in China and we're eating at an Italian restaurant? Save the lectures.
Sam reserved us a table, but there was so much traffic that we were late for our reservation--and apparently it was quite a table, because they called and told us if we weren't there in ten minutes, they would have to give our table away. We found out why. There were normal booths and tables, but in the center of the room were the prime tables--plush armchairs, a little beeper thing you could press for when you wanted service, etc. The armchairs were phenomenal. And so was the food. I'm pretty sure it was good-good, too, and not just Chengdu-good [again, another blog post right there], since we haven't been here long enough to forget how it should taste.
Ok, so on to the absurdities. There were a lot. We walked up to the doors, which are glass, and the first things we saw are these heart-shaped wreaths of fake roses, bubblegum pink or perhaps a shade or two lighter. Inside there were heart-shaped balloons the same color all over a stage, though at the time we didn't realize it was a stage--foreshadowing right there. However, the rest of the decorations were firmly Christmas. There was a big Santa in the corner when we walked in, as tall as me, and smaller ones outside on the windows, garlands with beads and little signs that said "Merry Christmas," gold balls that looked suspiciously like ornaments and large snowflakes hanging from the ceiling . . . Apparently Christmas is forever here, unlike in Narnia, where it's always winter, never Christmas.
We weren't left with menus when we were shown to our table, which I thought was maybe a Chinese thing since Sam says eating out at restaurants in China usually takes about twice as long as eating out at restaurants in the States, but I think they just forgot about us. Their reaction when we eventually paged them and asked for menus sort of gave that away. But around this time one of the waitresses had one of those gigantic bouquets of flowers in her arms--literally, almost as big as she was--and she was hiding behind a column to surprise a guy that was there with, I would assume, his girlfriend. She was on the phone, however, for so long that he actually stole it from her, all while the poor little waitress is struggling under this gigantic load. Eventually she took it back out of the main room to await a signal.
Around this time we also noticed this guy walking around--a Chinese guy--in, I kid you not, a cowboy hat, plaid shirt, leather vest, and jeans. And his hair was to his shoulders and wavy. I didn't look at his feet to see if he was wearing cowboy boots, but it's a definite possibility. It was the most bizarre outfit--particularly for his nationality and where we were. Here is my representation:
Well, once we placed our orders the background music stopped, to be replaced with an Austrian waltz. At a deafening decibel. And lo and behold, Mr. Cowboy got up on stage, grabbed a mic, and began a gorgeous operatic performance. I knew karaoke was huge here, but this wasn't particularly what I had envisioned.
As a reminder, we're in China, at an Italian restaurant, he's dressed like a legit cowboy, and he's singing an Austrian opera. This is the kind of stuff you just can't make up.
It was so loud that Sam gave up our prime seating--and those wonderful armchairs--for the very back of the restaurant. From there the singing was magnificent and at the sort of noise level that made enjoying it possible. I think he was serenading the recipient of the flowers, and the occasion was her birthday. But did he stop at one song? Oh no, not at all. He sang the whole time we were there [and we were there about two hours--again, the Chinese are very laid-back when it comes to meals], at times joined by a woman who also had a very, very beautiful voice. Opera, the whole time. Sam and I are still flabbergasted.
On the way home, though, we saw floating lanterns! We saw two from way far away on the actual night for floating lanterns, but last night we crossed the bridge everyone was sending them off from, so we saw a whole bunch! Tiny points of light way up high in the sky, just taking off, in between . . . They were very, very pretty. I personally think the Chinese should limit the fireworks to one night and do floating lanterns the other nights. Just my opinion.
So, happy Valentine's Day. I dare anyone to beat it.
